Your Prescribed April Fool’s Humor Dose: April Fool’s Day is a tough day to be on the Internet, or be near your one prank-happy friend. Get some classical humor with a collection of “Walked Into A Bar…” jokes, curated by The Drink Nation. Remember a couple– there are some solid gold groaners in the pack, ready for any occasion.
Calling Us Names: Aside from the more obvious perks, All About Beer has revealed another reason working in beer is better than your average desk jockey position: killer job titles. From J. Wilson, Minister of Iowa Beer, to Kim Kavulak, Chick Who Makes S#*t Happen (spelling counts) for Nebraska Brewing Co., we’re full of jobs that sound way better than Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Science Goes Too Far, Volume Whatever: A tech start up called Kuvée has taken on another problem you didn’t know needed fixing, announcing the world’s first LED-screen “smart” bottle of wine. For a paltry $200, you can spit in the eye of thousands of years of tradition for the sake of not having to pull out your phone to research your newest vino. The bottle is engineered to pour aluminum cartridges of wine, guaranteed to stay fresh at least 30 days. We’ll pass on the blinged-out bottle, but we’re curious to see what frats around the country do with wine by the bullet.
Turn Up For The Crown: By official decree, pubs in England will remain open two hours later than usual to celebrate the Queen’s birthday on June 10 and 11, allowing revelers to toast until 1 AM. We think it’s delightful that the government can declare longer drinking hours for national holidays, and hope this will lead to having the day after Independence Day made into a national holiday as well.
Double Up: According to the latest round of data from the Brewers Association, craft brewing grew by double digits for the eighth year in the last decade and seizing a full 12% of the total U.S. beer market. 12% doesn’t sound like much on, say, a final exam, but that’s a crucial chunk of the overall market that only broke double digits a few years ago. Celebrate by, well, doing what you already most likely do and have a few beers.
Going Local: A serious segment of that 12% is small, local breweries, an increasing number of which cut out distribution and sell directly to their customers through tasting rooms and small deliveries. The model is initially counterintuitive in such a growth-based industry, but many of these new brewers see exceptional margins by keeping their drinkers close to home. Drinkers reap the benefit of less expensive, local beer, which is the pride of an increasing number of small towns and cities, including your author’s home town Sand City Brewing Co. If you haven’t gotten the point by now, go forth and drink well.