IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics. With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.
On the couch: American Ale
Favorite Smell: Freedom
Favorite Broadway Show: A tie between 1776 and Hamilton
Favorite fashion accessory: Can koozie
Watson Says:
You are calm-seeking: you prefer activities that are quiet, calm, and safe. You are proud: you hold yourself in high regard, satisfied with who you are. And you are deliberate: you carefully think through decisions before making them.
Your choices are driven by a desire for self-expression. You consider taking pleasure in life to guide a large part of what you do: you are highly motivated to enjoy life to its fullest.
Dr. Rozmus Says:
Close. Oh, so very close.
A desire for self expression? Living life to the fullest? Being satisfied in your own identity? Yeah, that’s American Ale. It’s a do-er of a beer. It sees the sites, shakes the hands, checks the boxes, whatever. It’s simple because it knows that’s what you need, and it does it damn well.
But all this quiet, safe, tiptoe-through-the-tulips nonsense is right out. Sure, it’s not a brash IPA, but nothing about American Ale suggests it’s holding back on adventure. Criminy, it’s only in cans and on draft because that seemed like the best way to take it to the beach, fields and beyond. This is a beer made for dashing out your front door and seeing the world, not dithering about on the doorstep (and yes, that’s a The Hobbit reference. Do something.)
Watson, have an American Ale. Have a few. Then let’s meet up on a rooftop somewhere and have another. I think you’ll see what I’m talking about when you get the wind in your electronic hair again.