Featured image courtesy Robert Chamorro. Find him @robertochamorro
Champagne Machine Gun is a Necessary Waste: Let’s be honest, this thing is pretty dumb. It’s just a way of holding a bottle of champagne as you spray it– it doesn’t add range, or shake it for you, or anything. But look at it, and take just a moment to realize how stupidly cool it would be to wave this thing around and pretend for a few minutes you have the sort of money that makes this a worthwhile toy. Alright, moment is up.
Leffe’d Out: An optometrist named Henry Vasquez sued Anheuser-Busch this week for “deceptive” packaging on Leffe beer that led him to overvalue the beer. The packaging in question claims the beer is “brewed and perfected by Belgian monks,” despite the fact that those monks have been out of the picture since their abbey burned down in 1794. We’ll have to wait to see how the trial goes, but in the meantime let’s keep an eye out for those monks.
Ghost Raises Papastrello: Grammy-winning metal band and expert costumers Ghost have announced a new wine, following numerous other metal bands into the “surprisingly good licensed booze” category. At least, we think it’ll be good. The wine is a 13.7% Rosse de Veronese, a hearty Italian red style. For right now distribution is limited to Sweden’s Systembolaget, but we’re hoping Papa Emeritus will send us a bottle for fun.
More In Metal Love: Celebrated metal church (read: bar/venue) St. Vitus in Greenpoint will host a Speed Metal Dating Night on Sunday, April 10. The evening will feature dates roughly as long as a thrash song, the company of other sweaty-palmed metalheads, and specials on Iron Maiden’s The Trooper beer, which we’re well-documented fans of. Go forth and find love, or lust, or both. You might even meet the author of this column!
The Brewery Numbers Are In: The BA released their 2015 production numbers today, which finds yours truly at #12 on the list of the fifty largest craft breweries in the country. There was quite a bit of jockeying this year with many acquisitions, mergers, and massive expansion projects. Next year will be no different, as mainstays like Lagunitas (50% owned by Heineken) and Ballast Point (wholly owned by Constellation Brands) will no longer be counted by the BA for their report. Good luck updating all your trivia cards, fellow nerds.
Beer At Sea: Boston Beer Company and Carnival Cruise Lines recently announced that the new ship Carnival Vista will feature the first-ever brewery at sea. The brewery was developed by Boston subsidiary Alchemy & Science to be a version of its Key West-themed bar, Red Frog Pub. We hope the crew remembers to make the proper beer sacrifices to the sea, if for no other reason than to freak out the more skittish passengers.