IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics.” With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.
On The Couch: Scorcher IPA
Favorite Chain Restaurant: Sizzler
Favorite Old Commercial: The Sears air conditioning spot from the 90s
Favorite Music Genre: Surf rock
Watson Says:
You are shrewd and analytical. You are organized: you feel a strong need for structure in your life. You are solemn: you are generally serious and do not joke much. And you are philosophical: you are open to and intrigued by new ideas and love to explore them. You are motivated to seek out experiences that provide a strong feeling of discovery.
You are relatively unconcerned with both tradition and taking pleasure in life. You care more about making your own path than following what others have done. And you prefer activities with a purpose greater than just personal enjoyment.
Dr. Rozmus Says:
Oh dear, Watson. It looks like someone’s projecting their end-of-summer woes onto the shoulders of poor Scorcher IPA. This beer is a lot of things, but “solemn”? “Serious and do not joke much”? What a buzzkill. Philosophical I can see, but less in the long-crumbling-translated-books, and more in the Mad Men-meditation scene sense.
You’re closer to the mark with the independent streak. And the dry balance of hops and body certainly arise from a need for structure. But why does personal enjoyment get shunted aside? This is structure in the sense that music festivals have structure. Lighten up a bit, friend. Scorcher IPA could probably undo a few of those knots for you, once we figure out how to safely give beer to a computer.