IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics. With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.
On the Couch: Brown Ale
OkCupid Username: TallDarkNRoasty
OG Status?: Confirmed, and will be respected as such
Swagger: Restrained, yet undeniable
Watson Says:
You are analytical, inner-directed and tranquil.
You are calm-seeking: you prefer activities that are quiet, calm, and safe. You are calm under pressure: you handle unexpected events calmly and effectively. And you are self-controlled: you have control over your desires, which are not particularly intense.
You consider achieving success to guide a large part of what you do: you seek out opportunities to improve yourself and demonstrate that you are a capable person.
You are likely to: Follow on social media, buy healthy foods.
Doctor Rozmus Says:
We’re dealing with an elder statesman of the Brooklyn Brewery lineup here. Brown Ale was the first seasonal beer ever launched by the then-fledgling brewery in the early 90′s. It didn’t take long for it to catch on and join the year-round rotation, and it’s been a cornerstone beer ever since. But is it slept on? By most people, yes.
What I see with Brown Ale, and what my computerized buddy Watson seems to bear out, is that Brown Ale is serene in its power. You can’t get rid of it, despite the firestorm of IPAs and sours currently inundating the market (and power to all of ‘em.) But think of how excitable people get when it turns out Dr. Dre might finally drop Detox, or when Kobe Bryant puts up a stellar game, or when the new X Files premiered. We’re talking a whole other level of influence here.
So get back to Brown Ale, gang. Don’t sleep on the first true American brown. And while we’re at it, maybe drop Dre a letter and ask how he’s doing. Legends still need you.
Check out Watson’s inner workings here: