IBM’s Watson computer system, which you may remember from the decidedly one-sided man vs. machine Jeopardy! series when it was first unveiled, is now trying its hand as a psychoanalyst. Personality Insights takes sample text and returns a “spectrum of cognitive and social characteristics. With Watson Analyzes This, we see what Watson has to say about our beers from their Beers Page description, then run our own, human-powered analysis of its work.
On the Couch: Post Road Pumpkin Ale
Makeover Status: Recent
Favorite Insult: “Spice Bomb”
Watson Says:
You are shrewd, strict and restrained.
You are calm under pressure: you handle unexpected events calmly and effectively. You are authority-challenging: you prefer to challenge authority and traditional values to help bring about positive changes. And you are imaginative: you have a wild imagination.
You care more about making your own path than following what others have done. You consider achieving success to guide a large part of what you do: you seek out opportunities to improve yourself and demonstrate that you are a capable person.
Doctor Rozmus Says:
The first line of this had me worried. “Shrewd, strict, and restrained,” makes Post Road sound like some sort of old-time movie villain or corporate monster, not the fun-loving beer I know.
Then, out of nowhere, the next paragraph totally upends the whole thing: “authority-challenging,” and “wild imagination” do not match up with the “shrewd, strict and restrained” description from earlier. Perhaps Watson tapped in to the deeper attitude of the beer. Or, maybe Watson has some of those end-of-summer blues and doesn’t want to give in to the next season’s beers. Cheer up, buddy!
The last paragraph makes the most sense, and slides the rest of the analysis into frame. First off, this beer just got a brand-new packaging makeover. Of course it’s seeking to improve itself and become a more capable brew.
Second, this beer is about freedom, independence, and pumpkins. These were the core ideals of the colonial brewers who first looked at America’s favorite gourd and decided to drink it. For my money, a true pumpkin beer is an expression of patriotic appreciation of our forefathers, the risk they took starting a new country on unfamiliar shores, and their unwavering dedication to turning everything into booze. Cheers to them, and cheers to Watson, in hopes that he embraces the autumn along with the rest of us.
Check out Watson’s inner workings here: